It used to be that the unknown scared me
That the void was reason enough to squeeze my eyes shut
Now it might be that the void isn't approaching fast enough
The unknown looms larger and larger as it is constantly in the future.
Building up
opaque like a wall of cold ocean
The past transforms in front of your eyes
clearer and clearer each passing year.
In my case
Hidden in pages
scrawled messily in the notebooks
in the second or third drawer
Of the oak bookshelf, my uncle gave me
I imagine its dark in there
Filled with the scent of wood.
Palpable and perishing
Outside the buzz of hummingbird wings inspires
Memories - which only grow in fondness
I get sad when I get too happy.
I get sad thinking about how much love I have to spare
For some people
And how when they aren't here
And I can't douse them in it
It still exists
And they know it
Distance changes nothing
That's why we can't teleport.
We'd be too much
Have too much love
I feel like I'm constantly saying goodbye
As if to imprint my love on someone
Needing them to know ill miss them
And that our time together was not wasted.
That it is thought about
mundane day after day
Sadness turns into happiness
When you listen to samba
And when you cut garlic just right
And when you tune into a wave of energy
Bursting at the seams at all times
When you reread a letter
Or an email
To or from an old friend
Or perhaps from a lover
You've never gotten the chance to love
Endings and beginnings are always the same
Void come quick
I long for you
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