In February I was mesmerizing

In February I was mesmerizing

In November you told me so

In December you called me your tranquility

In January you went quiet

In February you no longer loved me

What a wild thing time can do

At once build up to something slowly and overtime

And in an instant, crush it down

Waves lapping

Turn into monsters of walls

Bearing all its weight

Just to destruct

And then the next moment

It's quiet

I'm turning round and round under the swell

My ears filled with sandy water

And my teeth crunching sickly

To be tossed out

Laid flat

Stripped of any sparkle

That once made me mesmerizing.

The sun beats down to dry me out and return my breath

Little inklings of water

Grab at my toes

waking me up

And it's scary to think

They are part of the same thing that hurt me

Love is risky as it shakes you out of good conscience and the only thing that can return it

Is more of the same love

Not same

Real and tried and true

I'll have to accept that it was never you who loved me

It was the idea that I could make you whole

Make you better

But you didn't give me a chance to

Because your crushing weight was too strong

Your mind too stubborn and lonely

To allow itself to be soft and open.

You liked that mine was laid bare on a plate

Like finger foods that you could eat

You tried to find holes in me

But the only holes to be found were gaps taken out by other people

That you could not replace

and so instead of trying you simply got up and left

but not before smashing that plate and spitting on its remains

and as soon as you leave you feel bad but feeling bad does nothing

to quell the ache you've made unless you do something about it

about it, you have done nothing

but left a scorned women